Advent – The Invitation Awaits

For many, this time of year represents a time of hyper-superficiality.  A time where we are easily overwhelmed by the unrealistic expectations of rushing from one holiday party to the next, buying that perfect gift for the special people in our lives, and completing the year-end deadlines imposed by work and society at large.  It has become a season of people-pleasing that showcases the co-dependent and materialistic nature of our society at its worst.

Yet, Advent can be a powerful season of introspection if we allow ourselves the opportunity to pull away from the cultural noise bombarding us to get in touch with ourselves and with the Lord calling within.

It is a time to reflect on the trials and tribulations of the ancient Israelites.  A time when they felt distant from God and yearned for the promised Messiah to deliver them from the overwhelming cultural circumstances our spiritual ancestors had found themselves in.  As you read the Advent readings and hear the Word at Mass, allow yourself to feel the spiritual hunger and thirst that Jeremiah, Isaiah, Zephaniah, and the other prophets must have been feeling during the time of exile.

In what ways do you associate with these feelings?  What components of your life do you feel are distant from God?  Is there a restlessness that you are not able to articulate?  In what other ways are you feeling unsatisfied or empty?  Where in your life are you harboring unforgiveness, resentment, sinfulness, or self-centeredness?  Where in your life are you lacking peace?

These are the questions you are invited to ponder this season.  This is where your Savior awaits, laying in the manger of your innermost vulnerabilities and at the very core of your soul.  He awaits to fulfill the promises He made to Israel through your life in a special way. 

Allow this season to be a season of rebirth for you, shedding the false self you have been living through and instead embracing the true self God created. Ponder the implications of His words:

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you, a prophet to the nations I appointed you.”  (Jer 1:5)

“For I know well the plans I have in mind for you—oracle of the LORD—plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope.”  (Jer 29:11)

Total Eclipse of the Heart

It was now about noon and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon because of an eclipse of the sun. Then the veil of the temple was torn down the middle. (Luke 23:44-45)

Observing a total eclipse of the Sun was the fulfillment of a life-long dream for me, and an experience that will carry with me always.  It was truly a humbling experience of God’s glory made manifest in ways that relatively few are able to witness first-hand.  I’m very grateful for the experience.

Standing in awe of the magnificent event brought to mind two images that I will continue to meditate upon for spiritual nourishment. 

The first was a visualization of being at the foot of the cross, when the total eclipse occurred during Christ’s crucifixion.  At the world’s darkest hour, during the act of deicide, the skies physically grew dark as the moon covered the sun as the moon’s shadow crept across the landscape.  At that moment of totality, Christ gave up his last breath! 

The second, while a simple reminder, may be more profound.  Too often we allow the circumstances in our lives to eclipse the rays of the loving grace of our Blessed Lord.  We allow circumstances like the events at Charlottesville to trigger our anger, build resentments, and plunge us into despair (which are all products of fear).  The resulting hatred for others surfaces in the form of being judgmental, seeking revenge/retaliation in the form of violence and/or property destruction, and other forms of evil begetting evil.

This post isn’t about the why these types of things happen.  Unfortunately, there isn’t an answer to that question, outside of the generic “All have sinned and are deprived of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23)  We know “the whole world is under the power of the evil one” (1 John 5:19), so we can continue to expect situations like Charlottesville to occur as Satan continues his war on “those who keep God’s commandments and bear witness to Jesus.” (Revelation 12:17).

Just like the darkness of a total eclipse, the light will return.  When Jesus died on the cross, it wasn’t His last breath after all.  He returned in glory.  When the dark moments, like the events at Charlottesville occur, we mustn’t carry the darkness forward through our fears.  Instead, we must be open to allowing God to work through us to bring light to the darkness. God can bring good out of the evil, but we must cooperate with His grace, which is very difficult to do when we are reacting through a lens of fear.

When you see the darkness, trust that light is right around the corner.  When you see evil in the world, do not react from your fear.  Instead, accept the situation for what it is; surrender your need to react to the situation, or control the situation, to God; and then pray for the grace to respond out of love.  The corporal and spiritual acts of mercy are a good place to start when trying to understand how to respond out of love.  By consistently doing this, we are following God’s plan to make the world a more accepting, tolerant, and loving place as opposed to falling into the snare of Satan, which only  progresses his plans of more chaos, fear, and hatred.

Ultimately, it is up to you to determine if you will allow your heart to be totally eclipsed by evil, or if you will allow your heart to be a reflection of the light and love of our Blessed Lord for the whole world to be nourished from.  Working with a spiritual director may help you get more clarity on these concepts and help you see how to more practically apply these concepts to your life.

Delusion #4: “My spiritual goals need to be based on my external beliefs”

“Jesus said to him, ‘If you wish to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to [the] poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.’  When the young man heard this statement, he went away sad, for he had many possessions.”  Matthew 21-22

By external beliefs, I’m really talking about those things external to us that we believe we need to help us feel complete; i.e., the persons, places, or things we are attached to. Our attachments impact how receptive we are to God’s transformative grace. Instead of accepting an invitation from God to fulfill our desire, we tend to fill our appetite with the object of our attachment.

Ideally, as indicated by Jesus, there should be nothing between us and our relationship with God.  We know our human nature is not capable of that level of perfection this side of heaven; however, we should aspire hold nothing back from God and continue to progress in our goals to detach from the people, places, and things that we tend to obsess about.

This is where “Let go and let God” starts to really take meaning.  We let go of our egos.  We let go of our need to control the people, places, and things in our life.  We let go of lusts and material satisfaction.  We learn to shift our focus from anything and everything of this world to the ever-present God.

This is an ongoing, life-long journey.  Removing attachments from our lives is like cutting away the layers of an onion.  There always seems to be another layer underneath.  It helps to have someone on the journey with you to help be a source of motivation when facing an attachment is difficult.

To complicate matters, we can be in denial about how an attachment is present in our lives.  Our ego may even try to convince that we don’t really have an attachment or that a certain attachment has no impact on our spirituality.   Having someone else on the journey with you can be a source of objectivity in these times of denial.  They can help us see when we are simply blind to what we are being called to do by God.

It is also possible for attachments to become an entry point for spiritual bondage.  If so, assistance may be required to help identify and renounce the spirit that is trying to take advantage of the situation.

A spiritual director can help you work through your attachments by being a source of motivation, a source of objectivity, and an aid in deliverance. 

Delusion #3: “I expect certain outcomes from our spiritual practices”

You have been told, O mortal, what is good, and what the LORD requires of you: Only to do justice and to love goodness, and to walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8)

It is said that expectations are premeditated resentments. While this phrase is generally attributed to our relationships with people, it also holds true to our relationship with God; i.e., our spirituality.  These expectations can stem from two sources, who we perceive God to be and what we perceive a relationship with God to look like.

According to one study, 62% of people are mad at God.  This is generally due to a false image of God the person has adopted.  Perhaps we grew up in a faith tradition that taught God is punishing and vindictive.  We would likely have adopted an image of God is punishing and vindictive.  Perhaps we grew up with a father that was absent and seems uncaring.  We could very likely transfer that image of fatherhood onto God creating an image of God being absent and uncaring.  These and other false images can easily create feelings of anger toward God that can impact spirituality.  We will discuss images of God in a future post.

Perceptions of what a relationship looks like can also come from the same sources.  We may believe (perhaps even subconsciously) that our relationship with God should look like the relationship we have with our fathers.  Or, the faith tradition we grew told us what a relationship with God would look like.  Either way, we try to make our relationship with God fit inside the box of our perception.

I had a client that thought a relationship with God equated to vocal conversation.  This expectation was planted by a well-intentioned friend, but created a box the prevented my client from experiencing God in the innumerable ways He reaches out to us.  When we started our sessions, she was very frustrated with God and with herself.  It was a relief to her to learn different forms of prayer, to come to the realization that God communication is often at a higher level than vocal conversation, and to begin to recognize how God is relating to her.

A spiritual director can help you see how your expectations of what a relationship with God “should” look like could be hampering the relationship you are looking for.  The sessions can be very useful for exploring your relationship with Him and discovering new ways that He is trying to relate to you.

Delusion #2: “My lack of serenity is due to my circumstances”

“Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are not you more important than they?”  Matthew 6:26

They say that it takes money to make money.  To a certain extent, there is a lot of truth in that statement.  Luckily, serenity does not have a compound relationship of that nature.  You can have serenity in your life regardless of whether or not the circumstances in your life are peaceful.

Too often, however, the lack of peacefulness in our circumstances is our own doing.  We worry about this and fret about that.  We carry the weight of our stress and anxiety around like a pack mule.  This stress and anxiety prevents us from experiencing true serenity and often hampers our efforts to grow in the spiritual life.

Learning to live in “the now” is one of the most important, but also one of the most difficult, spiritual skills we can develop.  Living in “the now” means we are not dwelling on the past.  What has happened has happened, we accept it and move on.  Living in “the now” means we are not overly concerned about the future.  As long as we are accepting life on life’s terms and turning our will and our life over to God (see post on Delusion #1), things will work out the way they are supposed to work out.

Living in “the now” means we are focused on the present, we are focused on the circumstances in our life as they are, and we are focused on doing the next right thing.  It is in “the now” that God invites us into an intimate relationship with Him.  It is in “the now” that we grow spiritually.  Living in “the now” is the key to experiencing true serenity and living a life that is full of happiness, joyfulness, and freedom.

Here are some tips for living in the moment:

·         Remind yourself that you are not your thoughts and your thoughts may not be reality.

·         Take a deep breath and focus on deep, slow breathing.

·         Do a gratitude list and focus on the good things.

·         Remind yourself that the person, place, or thing bothering you is exactly the way it is supposed to be, at this point in time, according to God’s will.

A spiritual director can help mentor you on these tips and other tips that will help alleviate anxiety and help you experience serenity.  Furthermore, a spiritual director may be able to provide some additional tools, especially if spirit is using the anxiety as an entry point for some sort of spiritual bondage.

Delusion #1: “I would be more spiritual if my circumstances were different”

"One who pays heed to the wind will never sow, and one who watches the clouds will never reap."  Ecclesiastes 11:4-10

This is a very common delusion that most of us have to face.  “I would be more spiritual if…”

…I lived in the mountains.

…I lived on the beach.

…I was retired.

…I was married.

…I was not married.

The list of possible “ifs” goes ad infinitum!

The reality is that God meets us where we are, and invites us into the spiritual realm regardless of what the circumstances are in our lives.  In fact, it is often within those circumstances where the spiritual journey can begin.  Coming to an awareness of God’s presence in the midst of the life’s ups and downs – especially in the pangs of hurts and brokenness – is a true sign of spiritual growth.

A major component of this is acceptance.  We accept life on life’s terms, knowing that God is always with us.  We have faith that things will work out if we give our lives and ourselves to the care of God.  This acceptance, in and of itself, is spirituality.  I like how Vincent P. Collins put it in a pamphlet called Acceptance:

“If you place yourself in God's hands in the morning, and through-out the day you hold yourself ready to accept His will as it is known through the circumstances of your daily life, your attitude of acceptance becomes a constant prayer.”

Coming to this level of acceptance is not an easy task.  In fact, it is often a life-long journey.  But, it is not a journey we have take alone.  It is often helpful to have someone to reel us back in when we are not accepting life on life’s terms…someone to remind us that it will all work out if we relinquish the need to control and just have faith in God.

Ultimately, the goal is to come to know ourselves, our circumstances, and God more intimately, and to become truly grateful for all of it.  A spiritual director can help you learn to see God more clearly in the darker periods of our life and work with you to continue spiritual growth in the midst of the circumstances of life.

Let Go and Let God (Prov 3:5-6)

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, on your own intelligence do not rely; In all your ways be mindful of him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

“Let Go and Let God” has become a popular mantra in spiritual circles, especially those of 12-step recovery programs.  It is a very simple concept, but a very difficult one to put into practice.  Human nature is tuned to sing “I Did It My Way”.  As a result, our spirituality becomes a tug-of-war between our desire to let God’s will be done and our desire to control the people, places, and things in our life.

The ultimate goal is to let go of all expectations, all resentments, and all negative thoughts and memories.  In short, we need to detach from all things that can stand in the way of our relationship with God and leave us feeling restless, irritable, and/or discontent.

Simply put, our human nature is programmed for self-delusion.  The delusions all of us must face obscure the way we see the world, including our relationship with God.  Some of the more common delusions we must face include (Presence 22.4):

·         I would be more spiritual if my circumstances were different

·         My lack of serenity is due to my circumstances

·         I expect certain outcomes from our spiritual practices

·         My spiritual goals need to be based on my external beliefs

We will discuss each of these delusions in more detail in future posts.  For the time being, suffice it to say, anyone feeling called and/or longing to experience the fullness of a spiritual relationship with God must break the cycle of self-delusion and begin to empty yourself and turn your life and your will to the care of God.  It will likely be an uncomfortable process at first; however, the more the principles are practiced, the more happiness, joyfulness, and freedom will be experienced.

I’ll close this installment with a quote from Meister Eckhart’s ‘The Talk of Instruction’, “Whoever has all his will and what he wants is joyful.  No one has that but he whose will and God's will are one. God grant us this oneness.”  That is letting go and letting God.

Entry Point Number 8: Sexual Intercourse Outside of Marriage

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. (Hebrews 13:14)

Pope Leo XIII had a vision of Satan boasting to God that he could destroy the Church.  We know Satan looks for our weak points to exploit and uses a number of weapon on us to pull us a way from Christ…often without us even realizing it.  Of the weapons at Satan’s disposal, I believe our sexuality is among the most effective.  If fact, part of the revelation at Fatima was that souls are falling into hell like snowflakes due to sins of the flesh.

There are statistical facts to support this type of spiritual warfare is occurring.  It is estimated that 3%-5% of the U.S. population.  Roughly 25% of all search engine requests are pornography related.  Even more people suffer from relationship addictions.  Addiction is first and foremost a spiritual malady.  Therefore, we must acknowledge and accept the risks of spiritual bondage that comes with sexual intercourse outside of marriage and take back what the evil spirits have been able to take from us.

The explanation for why this is such a powerful weapon for Satan actually comes from Genesis 2:24.  Two becomes one doesn’t simply refer to sharing one mailing address.  Marriage in and of itself is a sacrament (a visible representation of an invisible reality) of what occurs during intercourse.  But, what is this reality? 

When two people have sex, there is a very real metaphysical and spiritual exchange that is designed to create connectivity in a relationship like no other relationship.  Once that connection is made, simply parting ways (even in a civil divorce) does not break the spiritual connection that was created during intercourse. 

They say you never forget your first love.  Despite the whole host of reasons psychology uses to try to explain this phenomenon, the real reason is the existence of this spiritual connection between the partners.  That connection remains after the relationship has ended.  Both partners are left with a sense of longing and a sense of loss since the connection is strained by the parting of ways.  This is the perfect weak moment for Satan to exploit to create a spiritual bondage situation.  To complicate matters, the ongoing rejection of the connection continues to increase the risk of additional exposure as the person longs to “fill the gap”.

A spiritual director can help you work through your past and identify past relationship where this spiritual connection (also known as soul ties) may exist, renounce the connection, establish the authority to take back the spiritual essence  that that was given in that relationship, and renounce any spirits that may have created spiritual bondage.  It can be a pain process to search through ones past in this nature (especially if you think you have already moved on from it), but it is a healing and freeing experience.

Entry Point Number 7: Lies/Denial

No one who practices deceit shall dwell in my house; no one who utters lies shall continue before my eyes. (Psalm 101:7)

As we have discussed in previous posts, sin entered the world through the lens of deceit.  The serpent deceived Eve, Eve passed the deception on to Adam, Adam and Eve then attempted to deceive God by hiding from Him, and then Adam and Eve denied their responsibility by blaming someone else; Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent. It ultimately came down to the false promises of impunity, wisdom, and material sustenance.  The temptation was too much for Eve (and subsequently Adam) to resist.

It works in similar fashion for us.  We are tempted by something desired by our flesh, but ultimately it robs us of what we really need.  It can also open us to spiritual bondage, as explain by Neal Lozano:

“Demons serve only themselves and the devil’s purposes.  Their thoughts are always lies, and these lies are destructive thoughts that obscure the nature of God, drawing us into agreement through sin.  Demons seek always to destroy our destiny by separating us from the life of God and by usurping our authority on Earth.  Evil spirits take advantage of our nature by initiating relationships the same way they did in the Garden.  They present to us a temptation characterized by deception, all for the purpose of gaining control.  Our response to that deception gives demons access to us.  We come into bondage based on our sinful response to the empty promises.  First we entertain the lies and the false images in our minds; then, we believe our emotional response; and finally, we surrender our identity to a lie.”

This identification with the lies often creates a veil of denial that prevents us from seeing the truth of a situation.  Think of the addict that cannot see how his/her actions are impacting their friends and families.  Think about how they are always the victim and cannot see how the addiction puts them in the situations they are in.  Think about the narcissist that can never be wrong.  If they are wrong, it has to be because someone else gave them bad information or made a mistake.  But, the reality is that we all have these spiritual blind spots that hamper our spiritual growth.  These blind spots grow over time, often without giving us any clue to their existence.

To experience the fullness of Christ’s presence in our lives, we must learn to identify where these patterns of deception and denial exists in our lives.  We must learn to see those situations for what they really are as opposed to how we have perceived them to be.  A spiritual director can be an objective partner in talking through different perspectives of a situation, listening to where God is in the situation, and discerning the Light and Truth of Christ in the situation.   In the cases where the situation has deteriorated to spiritual bondage, a spiritual director can help guide through renouncing of the spirits involved and taking authority back over the situation in order to attain true freedom and peace in Christ.

Entry Point Number 6: Rebellion/Disobedience

For rebellion is as the sin of divination, and presumption is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, he has also rejected you from being king.  (1 Samuel 15:23)

Rebellion and disobedience has been a normal part of the human condition since Adam and Eve first bit into the forbidden fruit.  There is something hardwired into us (pride) that continually frames our response to “I’ll do it my way.”  Too often we make decisions and react to situations with no regard to what God’s will is for us.  Satan can use these moments of disobedience (especially significant episodes) to attack us and put us under spiritual bondage.

As we’re reminded by the St. Padre Pio Center for Deliverance Counseling, “It is the will of God for us to be obedient to parents, to civil government, to the Church, and to the pastors who are over us. We have two biblical responsibilities in regard to these authority figures: 1) Pray for them; and 2) submit to them. The only time God permits us to disobey those in authority over us is when they require of us an act or acquiescence in ways that are contrary to Church Law, Natural Law, or Divine Law.”

That leaves a lot of opportunity for us to be rebellious, even if we don’t realize we are being rebellious.  Perhaps you like to drive faster than the speed limit.  Perhaps you like to push the limit with your employer.  Perhaps you pick and choose what you want to believe relative to what is taught by the Church.  These are all examples of rebellion that can leave yourself open to bondage.

Following the line authority is an act of faith where we must believe the person’s source of authority is God and that they will ultimately be judged by how they used that authority.  But, following the line of authority does not mean you should allow someone to abuse you.  If you feel someone in authority is being abusive, then you will likely need to ensure there are appropriate boundaries and potentially make the decision to end the relationship.  Discussing this matter with a spiritual director can help you frame the situation, understand where God is in the midst of it, find forgiveness and closure, and discern next steps.

A spiritual director can also help you root through any rebellious moments you have had in your past, bring those moments to the Light and Truth of Christ, renounce any spirits that were able to take advantage of those moments, and ultimately help bring healing, closure, and freedom in Christ!