Delusion #3: “I expect certain outcomes from our spiritual practices”

You have been told, O mortal, what is good, and what the LORD requires of you: Only to do justice and to love goodness, and to walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8)

It is said that expectations are premeditated resentments. While this phrase is generally attributed to our relationships with people, it also holds true to our relationship with God; i.e., our spirituality.  These expectations can stem from two sources, who we perceive God to be and what we perceive a relationship with God to look like.

According to one study, 62% of people are mad at God.  This is generally due to a false image of God the person has adopted.  Perhaps we grew up in a faith tradition that taught God is punishing and vindictive.  We would likely have adopted an image of God is punishing and vindictive.  Perhaps we grew up with a father that was absent and seems uncaring.  We could very likely transfer that image of fatherhood onto God creating an image of God being absent and uncaring.  These and other false images can easily create feelings of anger toward God that can impact spirituality.  We will discuss images of God in a future post.

Perceptions of what a relationship looks like can also come from the same sources.  We may believe (perhaps even subconsciously) that our relationship with God should look like the relationship we have with our fathers.  Or, the faith tradition we grew told us what a relationship with God would look like.  Either way, we try to make our relationship with God fit inside the box of our perception.

I had a client that thought a relationship with God equated to vocal conversation.  This expectation was planted by a well-intentioned friend, but created a box the prevented my client from experiencing God in the innumerable ways He reaches out to us.  When we started our sessions, she was very frustrated with God and with herself.  It was a relief to her to learn different forms of prayer, to come to the realization that God communication is often at a higher level than vocal conversation, and to begin to recognize how God is relating to her.

A spiritual director can help you see how your expectations of what a relationship with God “should” look like could be hampering the relationship you are looking for.  The sessions can be very useful for exploring your relationship with Him and discovering new ways that He is trying to relate to you.