Delusion #2: “My lack of serenity is due to my circumstances”

“Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are not you more important than they?”  Matthew 6:26

They say that it takes money to make money.  To a certain extent, there is a lot of truth in that statement.  Luckily, serenity does not have a compound relationship of that nature.  You can have serenity in your life regardless of whether or not the circumstances in your life are peaceful.

Too often, however, the lack of peacefulness in our circumstances is our own doing.  We worry about this and fret about that.  We carry the weight of our stress and anxiety around like a pack mule.  This stress and anxiety prevents us from experiencing true serenity and often hampers our efforts to grow in the spiritual life.

Learning to live in “the now” is one of the most important, but also one of the most difficult, spiritual skills we can develop.  Living in “the now” means we are not dwelling on the past.  What has happened has happened, we accept it and move on.  Living in “the now” means we are not overly concerned about the future.  As long as we are accepting life on life’s terms and turning our will and our life over to God (see post on Delusion #1), things will work out the way they are supposed to work out.

Living in “the now” means we are focused on the present, we are focused on the circumstances in our life as they are, and we are focused on doing the next right thing.  It is in “the now” that God invites us into an intimate relationship with Him.  It is in “the now” that we grow spiritually.  Living in “the now” is the key to experiencing true serenity and living a life that is full of happiness, joyfulness, and freedom.

Here are some tips for living in the moment:

·         Remind yourself that you are not your thoughts and your thoughts may not be reality.

·         Take a deep breath and focus on deep, slow breathing.

·         Do a gratitude list and focus on the good things.

·         Remind yourself that the person, place, or thing bothering you is exactly the way it is supposed to be, at this point in time, according to God’s will.

A spiritual director can help mentor you on these tips and other tips that will help alleviate anxiety and help you experience serenity.  Furthermore, a spiritual director may be able to provide some additional tools, especially if spirit is using the anxiety as an entry point for some sort of spiritual bondage.

Delusion #1: “I would be more spiritual if my circumstances were different”

"One who pays heed to the wind will never sow, and one who watches the clouds will never reap."  Ecclesiastes 11:4-10

This is a very common delusion that most of us have to face.  “I would be more spiritual if…”

…I lived in the mountains.

…I lived on the beach.

…I was retired.

…I was married.

…I was not married.

The list of possible “ifs” goes ad infinitum!

The reality is that God meets us where we are, and invites us into the spiritual realm regardless of what the circumstances are in our lives.  In fact, it is often within those circumstances where the spiritual journey can begin.  Coming to an awareness of God’s presence in the midst of the life’s ups and downs – especially in the pangs of hurts and brokenness – is a true sign of spiritual growth.

A major component of this is acceptance.  We accept life on life’s terms, knowing that God is always with us.  We have faith that things will work out if we give our lives and ourselves to the care of God.  This acceptance, in and of itself, is spirituality.  I like how Vincent P. Collins put it in a pamphlet called Acceptance:

“If you place yourself in God's hands in the morning, and through-out the day you hold yourself ready to accept His will as it is known through the circumstances of your daily life, your attitude of acceptance becomes a constant prayer.”

Coming to this level of acceptance is not an easy task.  In fact, it is often a life-long journey.  But, it is not a journey we have take alone.  It is often helpful to have someone to reel us back in when we are not accepting life on life’s terms…someone to remind us that it will all work out if we relinquish the need to control and just have faith in God.

Ultimately, the goal is to come to know ourselves, our circumstances, and God more intimately, and to become truly grateful for all of it.  A spiritual director can help you learn to see God more clearly in the darker periods of our life and work with you to continue spiritual growth in the midst of the circumstances of life.